I know I’ve touched on this before but it really is such a big issue in the world of HIV prevention that I have to address it again. But this time from a woman’s perspective.
They do say to get men to do anything you’ve got to get them to believe that woman prefer that specific behaviour change – which I suppose makes sense (though I’ve never managed to convince any of my ex partners to clean up after themselves – it never sounded at all sexy I suppose).
But I’ve pondered this point – relating to circumcision – and even asked a few of my girlfriends – I’m not really big on promoting something I don’t actually subscribe to.
I come from a country where circumcision isn’t the norm, but do know people from other tribes and other countries where it is the norm. And this isn’t the first time women have discussed the whole circumcised, not circumcised thing, it’s a debate that has been raging on for years. Some women don’t care – especially those who have largely only had uncircumcised men, or have never been with a circumcised man. But those who have, they swear by them, insist there is nothing better.
I don’t sit on the fence on this one, I know exactly where I stand – and not just because of the seemingly well documented facts that circumcision is a step in the right direction for prevention.
A study in Uganda found an overwhelming majority of the 455 women surveyed stating that sex was equally, if not more so, satisfying after their partners were circumcised. That doesn’t surprise me either. I know more than a handful of women who after being with circumcised men have never looked back, and even just for the aesthetics – let’s face it, it’s a lot prettier to look at when it’s circumcised.
However, I have yet to find an uncircumcised man willing to get circumcised just because I said I preferred it. Either way, the condom still has to stay on and I still see that as being a big barrier. Tell men that if they get circumcised they don’t have to use a condom – that’s when you’ll see the queues at the local health centers going on for miles (obviously defeating the point though…).
10 comments
Comments feed for this article
January 20, 2010 at 12:45 am
RestoringTally
They say circumcision reduces the risk of HIV infection for men. Great. But, there is another study that shows male circumcision increases the HIV infection risk for women! See http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736%2809%2960998-3/abstract
Also, there is a New Zealand study that shows that some female problems are caused by the man’s circumcision status. These problems include vaginal dryness and being sore after prolonged sex. See http://www.nzma.org.nz/journal/116-1181/595/
January 21, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Stacy Stack
I do agree that female preference for circumcised males is not enough to make adults go in for a circumcision, but it probably is enough to make sure that we can get our our sons and the next generation of males circumcised so at least our daughters get these health benefits. I have yet to meet a single man that wasn’t happy to be circumcised, but a lot of uncircumcised guys seem to wish they had been snipped but are too afraid to do it now.
I have done a lot of research on circumcision and thought you might find these links helpful:
general health:
http://www.modern-psychiatry.com/circumcision.htm
http://www.circinfo.com/parents_guide/gfp.html
http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/video/-/watch/13629907/
STD’s
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=56849737
http://www.physorg.com/news86339340.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15593753/
Sexual effects/sensitivity
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5BG4AM20091217
http://www.mcgill.ca/newsroom/news/?ItemID=26068
http://discusshiv.com/tag/orgasm/
http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2007/07/27/circumcision-sensation.html
Cervical Cancer:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/fishman/2006/circumcision.html
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1141513
trends:
http://www.jurology.com/article/PIIS0022534705604193/abstract
http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2008/12/23/circumcision-rates-too-low.html
Discussion groups:
http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a1236385/choosing_to_circumcise
http://www.cafemom.com/group/13109
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppnoforeskin
Even the World Health Organization is recommending it now:
http://www.who.int/hiv/mediacentre/news68/en/index.html
Click to access MCrecommendations_en.pdf
As well as the CDC:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/32537110#32537110
Hope it was okay to pass that on to you?
Stacy
January 21, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Restoring Tally
Stacy said, “I have yet to meet a single man that wasn’t happy to be circumcised.” Stacy, glad to meet you. I was circumcised at birth and I am very unhappy to be circumcised. Most men circumcised at birth cannot say that being cut is better because they have no experience with a foreskin. It is sort of like a man deaf in one ear saying there is no need for stereo sound because monophonic sound is great for him. And, any adult who truly wishes to be circumcised has no trouble having the surgery done. At least the adult has the choice if he wants to be circumcised.
There are lots of men who are unhappy with having their sex organs cut when they were infants. Many of those men, like me, are restoring their foreskin to undo the damage caused from their circumcisions. I have experienced life as a circumcised man and I have experienced life as a restored man. The difference is amazing, both for me and my wife, who noticed the difference before I did. We both enjoy my being restored much better than when I was cut. My wife does not get sore from sex like she used to. And we don’t need lube like we did before. Me having a foreskin, even a restored one, is a win for my wife. I just wish I would have been left with my original equipment and we could have been happier for a longer time.
Some good circumcision resources include
Intact America: http://IntactAmerica.org/
Sex as Nature Intended It (NSFW but describes how women could benefit from men who are not circumcised) http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/10F/1hook_scrapes.html
Circumcision Information and Resource Pages: http://www.cirp.org/
Circumcision Resource Center: http://www.circumcision.org/
Discussion group: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=112410
Unfortunately, the US has a culture of circumcision and it harms both women and men. Education is the key to improving our lives.
February 22, 2011 at 5:30 pm
jonas
“However, I have yet to find an uncircumcised man willing to get circumcised just because I said I preferred it. ”
heyhi … somhow i didnt understand this sentence … why do you want to find an un circumcised man who is willing to get cut instead of an already circumcised man ?
February 28, 2011 at 10:49 am
cathynphiri
It was more about the principle of using a strategy that says that if i women says she wants it, then grown men would get circumcised.
March 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Joel
Women are usually the targets of sexism, so it doesn’t surprise me when people look right past sexism perpetrated against men.
It is absolutely a sexist idea that a woman’s sexual attraction should play ANY role in whether men, let alone male infants, undergo a surgery (with all its risks) that removes thousands upon thousands of specialized highly-sensitive nerve endings (like those in the fingertips and lips) along with protective and sexually functional tissue.
If you believe that sexism towards men does not reflect back into sexism towards women, think again. Sexism in all of its forms must be challenged and dealt with.
March 8, 2011 at 3:39 am
ktr
Getting circumcised for a gf would be a pretty big and permenant step. My wife has indicated that she would prefer for me to be circumcised and I’m now – after being married 11 years, looking to have it done at the same time as a vasectomy. So you can maintain hope of changing men … slowly.
August 21, 2011 at 10:15 am
T
I’m a guy who decided to circumcise due to my wife’s desire. When we met she admitted that she strongly preferred a circumcised penis. While it was nothing that would cause her to reconsider our relationship, she said she would not perform oral sex before I had the snip.
So, I decided to do it out of respect for her just after we were engaged. So we contacted several doctors to review some options. And to other couples who are looking at circumcision options: We learned that there are no such thing as “just make the snip”. There are several different procedures with a somewhat different results, pertaining to the “tightness”. A lower cut produces a “looser” and more comfortable look, while a higher produces a more appealing, “tighter” look. Finding the perfect combination between comfort and aesthetics should be the key. There are also various means to avoid or remove scarring after the incision. After some talking to my fiance, I ended up doing a quite tight version, with another cosmetic surgery a couple of months after for some aesthetic adjustments and to tone down the scar.
After the circumcision I realize that it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Both me and her thinks it looks so much better, and it just feels good that there’s no extra skin in the way. Apart from the hygienic and aesthetic advantages, somewhat reduced sensitivity also makes me perform much better in bed. As practioners of tantric sex, where the guy is supposed to control his ejaculation until his girl approves or even not at all, it’s a big advantage to be circumcised. While I had trouble not ejaculating too soon earlier, I now have complete control of my ejaculations. It’s still plenty of pleasure for myself as well, but it’s good to finally be able to “come on command”.
April 14, 2012 at 2:16 am
Eric Wayne
I am 71 and I was circumcised when I was 44. I was having a vasectomy and my wife wanted me to be circumcised at the same time. We are both glad we had it done.
March 19, 2013 at 9:49 pm
oogenhand
My father is circumcised, and apparently my mother likes it, as she always talks about how it prevents cervical cancer. Another Dutch woman said that American women are far more satisfied than Dutch women, so you can draw your own conclusions.