The Heroes and Unity Day holidays should have been a great way to relax – we just wrapped a seven week shoot for Love Games season 2, already fully packaged and edited the first six episodes, so it’s been intense.

But the long weekend became an opportunity for reflection. It started good, had a double baptism for my friend’s kids, as well as a panel on Lusaka Social Media Day. Both were great events. The baptism was great for family and friends to get together and just chill, no drama, no stress, and I got to cook for people who love my food (I only made salads and desserts, but still :)). Then I had to run across town (changed from 6 inch Calvin Klien heels, to even more comfy 6 inch H&M wedges!) to attend my panel at the Lusaka Social Media Day organized by C1rca 1964 and Bongo Hive. That was really exciting too. I got to talk about my social media experience, especially on how I use twitter as me, as my own brand, and my company, as that brand. I wish I’d been able to stay longer as it really looked like a great opportunity to share experiences and learn a lot. I know I’ve definitely learnt a lot on using twitter from my former colleagues Julia and Ben, so would have enjoyed learning more. I look forward to the next LskSMDay! Or more events from Bongo Hive and C1rca 1964. It did get me thinking about some of our own events that we’ll be doing soon – starting with our Love Games special screening for press in a week or so ahead of the TV premiere of season two.

Unfortunately on Monday – Heroes Day, while working on my fro, I got some sad news – Dominic Mulaisho had passed away in the early hours of the morning. Our families have had a long history together – four sets of siblings are all friends – with the youngest child Francesca, being one of my close friends, we even used to stay together in London. He was also a close close friend of my father, only the night before he’d called my father to check in on him, a call he made at least every two weeks, helping to keep my father in good spirits during his own illness.

Dominic Mulaisho is a great part of Zambia’s history, in both the political and the arts fields. He was the economic advisor to our first president Dr Kenneth Kaunda, and former Bank of Zambia governor. He also authored a few books, notably The Tongue of the Dumb, probably one of the first post colonial books to get international attention.

tongue of the dumb

So, as sad as it is that he has passed on, it also felt appropriate that he passed on Heroes Day, as he should be remembered as a hero.

Whenever someone in my life passes away, I am reminded that life is really short. We always think that we have time to do everything we want and we prioritize things that might not mean that much in the long run. Don’t get me wrong, I love my work, I love the grind, and I don’t regret any of my career choices. But sometimes I remember that I forget to stop and smell the flowers.

Even yesterday, I sat at home thinking that four years ago today, I buried my brother. Four years. It’s still a painful memory, yet, I was so wrapped up in my own issues that I completely forgot. It’s bad enough that I don’t remember the exact day he died (I was on the other side of the world, taking two days to get back for the funeral), that I only remember the day we buried him – I think it’s a mental block for me.

Time is something we can’t get back, and it’s something we really don’t have a lot of. How we use it defines what we is important to us. It’s not that you can’t do it all, or have it all, it’s just about ensuring that your soul is happy, so that when it’s all said and done you can say, I lived a life I enjoyed.
We’ve entered the second half of the year, and it’s time to reflect on what you want in life, to have a fulfilled life. What changes and decisions you need to make to include more positivity in your life and rid yourself of toxins. Don’t be afraid to be selfish and put yourself first. The reality is that if you don’t put yourself first, don’t expect others too. Being selfish doesn’t mean treating others badly or unfairly, but just ensuring that you are being good to yourself and your spirit first.

This week will be a tough week, hard for my dad, hard for my friends, but we have to be strong, remember those we’ve lost for the positive influence they’ve had on us, and use their legacy to shape our future – to live life to the fullest and impact and touch the lives of the people around us.

Have a good week and go out and make yourself happy!