Happy New Year!  It’s almost the end of January but I feel we can still celebrate the new year.

Red-Roses

I had made a conscious decision to blog more this year, and then struggled to decide what to blog about.  I find blogging is cathartic for me.  But I also want it to be useful for people who take the time to read it and not find it just being about me, me, me.  I also want it to be meaningful.  There is no point of complaining and doing nothing about what gripes you.

The struggle of what to write ended when I listened into a radio interview with opposition leader Hakainde Hichilema (last week now).  HH, as he is popularly known as, did overwhelmingly well in the just ended presidential by-election, but he is going hard on how he was cheated by ‘known’ people at the electoral commission.

I don’t think that it’s impossible that there was election misconduct, but I think we choose what we need to focus on.  I think for the allegations to hold any water, HH needs to take this case through the courts of law – though they might be corrupt too right?  The point is don’t complain without doing anything about it.

But more than that for me was really a concern of how bitter he sounded about losing – and he lost by 2%!  How can he not be proud or grateful of that considering that it was the same electoral roll as 2011 and that only 37% of people voted!

It made me think of the mindset of a lot of Zambians I have encountered over the last 4 years.  Generally speaking they come across as negative people, the ones who see the glass as half empty ALL the time.  And they are anything but supportive, especially of other’s success.

It makes me think of the role that our leaders play, especially our political leaders and how that influences our way of thinking and behaviour.

When I speak to my friends and other enlightened people we all speak in amazement of how well HH did in this campaign.  The reality is when you count all the numbers there were more people who wanted PF out than wanted them in.  BUT there are some fundamental issues that HH has to overcome, but let me not get side tracked, that’s not my point here.

HH can’t seem to appreciate the success he gained, and I think he should be focusing on how well they ran the race, and that there is still work to be done and that that’s what we need to focus on.  Don’t be a sore loser.  Show what true character and leadership is about, you don’t stop to complain and moan, we roll with the punches and keep moving.  Roll up your sleeves and get back to work.

We’ve all been there, feel like something is unfair, and we want to cry about it – and we do, just in the privacy of our homes, but to the world we put a strong confident front.  I would have respected him more if he’d done that – and if he’d shown up at the inauguration.  It shows strength of character, maturity and integrity.

So if a person who is standing to run this nation is bitter and negative, how will I, the person on the street know to be any different?

I’m not negating our own responsibility, or that of parents to teach us to have a positive, appreciative, supportive outlook on life, I’m just saying it’s hard to fight against the grain.  Having leaders that perpetrate the negative cycle is a problem for me.

Leadership is not only limited to politicians, or people with power, money etc, it’s within all of us to be a leader;   A leader in your community, in your school, in your household.  Character building is so important for that leadership role.

I try not to steep down to the negativity, but sometimes you do get caught up in it, I try really hard not to surround myself with negativity – and what I define as negativity is complaining, lazy, can’t do attitude, unsupportive and the world owes me a favour types.  I find it draining and all consuming, almost to the point of inaction to progress.

As a type A person I don’t deal with failure very well – my personal failure that is, and as a type A overachiever, I have very high standards for myself.  But I always remember my sister saying to me – ‘Don’t forget to smell the roses’.  At the time I thought it was such random advice – of all things she could have told me as my older, wiser sister!  But it has been among the best advise I have ever received.

When you smell the roses you are grateful, you are happy, and you are at peace.  In that state, you can achieve pretty much anything you want – or at least find the strength to deal with the tough times.  You learn that to fail is to learn.  It builds character and resilience (“What is resilience: Once you have been through hardships, grievances and disappointments, only then will you understand what is resilience.” – Jack Ma).

End of last year (and beginning of 2015 too) I felt so out of control, so many emotions as a result of not feeling that I’d met half my goals, and slightly (if I have to be honest) envious of my amazing sister-friends and their achievements.  I felt my life was not how I’d envisioned it.  I wasn’t smelling the roses.  I got down on my knees, prayed for guidance and I let go of the negative feelings to focus more on the roses and the blank page 2015 provided.  I now feel happier, have some clarity, and I’m excited for what the year has in store.

I think all of us need to take up our personal leadership role (while still holding our political leaders accountable) and question the characters we want to surround ourselves with, as well as those of our leaders.

And smell the roses every day!

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