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Taking time out from thinking about work and my career – sigh it really is hard when you’re on a trajectory for world domination – but I’ve had another thing on my mind – babies.

Yup. Living in Zambia you’re very aware of all the babies/children around. It seems everyone follows the same path growing up, which at some point involves getting married and having babies. And everyone says the same thing, ‘you should have one, having a baby changes your life!’

I have to admit this threw me because … well… I like my life as it is, why would I want to change it? Well I’d like more money, buy more shoes, travel more and stay in luxury hotels, but none of that has to do with having a baby.

Baby and Father

People seem to find this response shocking, because after all I’m a 30 something year old woman, shouldn’t I want to have kids? As a child I never wanted to have children, I’ve never particularly liked kids – I like the ones related to me, though even they have their moments – and as I grew I expected, like other things in my life, this to change and I’d get all broody and have the 2.5 kids with the white picket fence.

I think around 29 I did get broody. The idea of a little baba was very appealing. A year later the broodiness was gone! People who don’t know me well think my none-interest in kids and having babies is because of my significant other – he has his kids, he doesn’t want any more. But I learnt a long time ago not to let a man drive my decisions – biggest way to regret anything you do! So while I took it into consideration, thinking, ‘what if one day, this so called maternal instinct kicks in’, but the more I’m around kids, and as the days go by, I just don’t feel it.

Ok maybe I’m also lazy and children are hardwork. It’s not like you can just leave them to just get on with it while you chill in front of the TV. And I’m not a morning person, so if kids needed to eat before say 11am, they’d starve until they learnt to make their own food. Waking up in the middle of the night? Nah, not for me. Call me selfish but I’m quite content with my life as it is. In fact the only reason I even fleetingly entertain the idea of a child is the fear of having all this fabulousness die with me! How will I be remembered if I don’t have kids to carry on my memory? But that is probably too selfish a reason to have a child, surely I can just have a stature of myself erected?

Children are expensive too. School- fees! Sheesh. These people pay in dollars! The amount of money they buy would really add fabulous new shoes in my collection, not to mention a few handbags and diamonds too, I’m just saying.

For me that whole biological clock is ticking just doesn’t seem to resonate, and seeing that the clock of choice for me is a Tag Heuer, I have no doubt that it’s ticking away just fine.

I’ve been back in the office for two days and I already feel like another holiday is needed! I have report after report to do and then back to writing funding proposals. Sometimes I wonder if there isn’t more to my job? Of course there is, it’s just that time of the year.

Speaking of that time of the year, it is MTV award season. The only real award show I get a tiny little bit involved in is the MAMAs – the MTV Africa Music Awards. Because I work so closely with the Africa team, I nag (they call it nagging it, I call it consistent pressure) them to include more social responsibility stuff in it. To be fair, most of the MTV award shows do, i.e. the Free Your Mind award for the Europe Music Awards – and Africa has something to, I forget what though…

This year the award show will be held in Lagos in December. On one hand I’m excited about this – because I love the Africa award show and the Nigerian music scene is so buzzing at the moment. But on the other hand, it’s Lagos! Hectic.

Still it’s an opportunity not to be missed, so while I’m writing all these reports, I’ll get the chance to brainstorm with the Africa team about how we can incorporate Shuga and/or other Staying Alive messaging into the MAMAs. That will be fun!

Also filming for the Zambia segment of our World AIDS Day programme has been completed. I’m looking forward to seeing what they got as I hear it went really well. I’m very excited about this programme. While it uses a well known MTV format, it’s still a first for us and fingers crossed it will work so hopefully we can turn it into a series. Oh that reminds me, it’s time to start brainstorming what we to mark 30 years of HIV/AIDS next year. Actually scary to think that this virus has been around for pretty much all my life.

Last night I watched this documentary about Zimbabwe’s lost children, it really could have been the story of so many kids in pretty much any country across Africa. Was heartbreaking. HIV/AIDS can be a manageable disease, but only when you’re in the right situation i.e. you can get treatment – including basic medication for opportunistic diseases and other illnesses – you can get proper nutrition, sometimes these kids went without food the whole day – and just decent sanitation.

There’s still so much to be done, and watching that programme really highlighted how HIV/AIDS is not something that can or should be addressed alone. HIV/AIDS exacerbates existing problems, certainly ones dealing with poverty. We have to do more.